How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

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An Insider's Guide to Managing Life Successfully with DID
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Product Details
UPC: 978-1-932690-03-3
Brand: Loving Healing Press
Binding: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Author: A.T.W.
Pages: 105

Finally a book for survivors written by a survivor!

Got Parts? was written by a survivor of DID in association with her therapist and therapy group.
This book is filled with successful coping techniques and strategies to enhance the day-to-day functioning of adult survivors of DID in relationships, work, parenting, self-confidence, and self-care. Got Parts will help you introduce yourself to your internal family and improve its communication, integration, and well-being. Although written to carefully avoid triggering, it delivers well-grounded guidelines for living that DID people need to do on the way to recovery. Coping strategies included help you with issues related to triggers, flashbacks, and body memories. Got Parts also includes a detailed list of outside resources you can draw on. This book is intended to be used in conjunction with a therapist and is not a substitute for therapy.

Once thought of as a rare and mysterious psychiatric curiosity, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is now understood to be a fairly common outcome of severe trauma in young children--most typically extreme and repeated physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse, and often lack of attachment. Formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder, DID is a condition in which a person has two or more distinct identities or personality states that recurrently take control of the person's consciousness and behavior. Symptoms can include depression, mood swings, panic or anxiety attacks, substance abuse, memory loss, propensity for trances, sleep and eating disorders, distrust, detachment, lack of self-care, and distress or impairment at work.

Acclaim for Got Parts? from Therapists and Survivors

"Got Parts? is a very well conceived and useful tool, particularly for those treating DID from a more functional perspective." -- Peter A. Maves, Ph.D., ISSD Fellow

"Got Parts is great tool for working therapeutically with ones internal family." -- Patricia Sherman, LCSW

"I particularly liked the chapter which emphasises the importance of taking care of body, mind and spirit holistically." -- Kathryn Livingston, Chairperson, First Person Plural (UK)

"I strongly recommend this book as a easily read, straightforward and insightful recovery tool for my clients with DID." -- Ian Landry, MA MSW RSW, Nova Scotia, Canada

"I will require got parts for new clients, refer it to other therapists and have even recommended it for others." -- Karen Hutchins, MA LPC

ATW's approach reflects that of Truddi Chase, a DID victim who prefers her alters live in a harmonious community. -- Metapsychology Online Review, Dec. 22, 2005

For more information please visit www.GotParts.org

From Loving Healing Press www.LovingHealing.com

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