How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

My Tour in Hell

SKU 978-1-932690-23-1
$17.95
On Sale
was $19.95 Save $2.00
A Marine's Battle with Combat Trauma
1
Product Details
UPC: 978-1-932690-23-1
Brand: Modern History Press
Binding: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Author: David W. Powell

David W. Powell enlisted for a tour of duty in April 1966 with the US Marines after receiving an imminent draft notice. Believing he would be able to leverage his existing skills as a computer programmer, he never thought all they would see on his resume was his Karate expertise. Even less that he would wind up serving as a Rocket man in the jungles of Da Nang and Chu Lai for a 13 month tour in hell.

David's journey from naive civilian to battle-hardened combat veteran shows us all how fragile our humanity really is. In addition to killing the enemy on the field of battle, he was witness to countless cruelties including murder both cold-blooded and casual, cowardice under fire, and
a callous disregard for life beyond most people's imagination. With each new insult, he lost a little bit of his soul, clinging to his Bible as his only solace while equally certain of his own imminent demise.

Upon returning to civilian life after a two year enlistment, he found himself with nightmares during sleep, intrusive thoughts while awake, ahypervigilant stance combined with an exaggerated startle reaction, and a seeming inability to control basic emotions like anger and sadness.

The price he paid for what would only be diagnosed decades later as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was broken marriages and relationships, inability to hold down jobs leading to bankruptcy, alcohol abuse, and having to hide the service he willingly gave to his own country.

In 1989, David eventually recovered through a simple but powerful technique known as Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR) and is now symptom-free. Not just for veterans, TIR has since been successfully applied to crime and motor vehicle accident victims, domestic violence survivors, and even children. His story shows what is possible for anyone who has suffered traumatic stress and that hope, healing, and recovery can be theirs too.

What People Are Saying About My Tour In Hell

"His autobiographical work is a must read for veterans who remain stuck between two worlds. Healing is not forgetting; healing is making sense of the past in order to live life in the present with a restored hope for the future. Powell articulates this process very well and has given
a tremendous gift to the combat veteran community of any generation."
- Father Philip G. Salois, M.S., National Chaplain, Vietnam Veterans of America

"The connection of David's problems in his current life and his Viet Nam experiences is one of the clearest descriptions of how trauma affects our lives I have ever read. My Tour in Hell is a tribute to David's unwillingness to give up on himself in the face of great unhappiness."
-Laura W. Groshong, LICSW (Seattle, WA)

"Years in combat zones, group psychotherapy with combat vets diagnosed with PTSD and TIR training qualifies me to recommend this book. My Tour in Hell attests to David's journey from the boundary of a Marine grunt's PTSD despair to the horizon of integration, risk, and new meaning. Those in the helping professions will learn how the negative emotional 'charge' of trauma can be partially or totally eliminated through the adept facilitation of Traumatic Incident Reduction."
-Sister Kateri Koverman, LISW, ICDC

More Than A Memoir, My Tour In Hell includes

  • Photos taken by David's own camera during his Vietnam tour
  • Study guide for clinical students
  • FAQ from the National Center for PTSD
  • Suggested Reading list

    Learn more at www.MyTourInHell.com
  • Save this product for later
    Share this product with your friends
    My Tour in Hell

     

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *