How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

The Joy Thief

SKU 978-1-61599-666-7
$16.95
A Story of Trauma and Hope
1
Product Details
UPC: 978-1-61599-666-7
Brand: Loving Healing Press
Binding: Paperback
Audiobook: Audible, iTunes
Edition: 1st
Author: Sean McCallum
Pages: 32
Publication Date: 04/10/2022

The Joy Thief! is a story that helps children and adults to discover more about a subject that is often difficult to understand. Demonstrating the subjectivity of trauma, The Joy Thief! highlights how a seemingly ordinary occurrence can have a significant impact upon the wellbeing of a child, particularly if left unaddressed. Challenging the idea that trauma only occurs during more "serious" incidents, The Joy Thief! leads us to conclude that such occurrences, or rather our responses to them, may be more significant for children's mental health than we would perhaps like to admit. The story of The Joy Thief! encourages help-seeking, while challenging adults to consider the way they handle such situations. The story is written in a person-centred fashion, seeking to normalize a range of outcomes that children may experience following a traumatic experience - including the little-acknowledged phenomena of imaginary "friends." Whilst highlighting positive themes of intersectional diversity, The Joy Thief! also challenges us to consider issues of parental absence, inattention, and invalidation within the context of the needs of children.

Above all, The Joy Thief! is a story of hope.

~ ~ ~

"This book demonstrates beautifully a gentle reminder to parents about the way that children can perceive the world and then models to children how talking about difficult things helps. Supporting better mental health and wellbeing for children is invariably about how the adults around the child respond to what is so often in front of our noses, yet we fail to always see." -- Lisa Cherry, schools, services & systems consultant, and author on trauma-informed & relationship focused practice (Twitter: @_LisaCherry)

"The Joy Thief! is a joy to read and is a beautifully illustrated book with inviting and fun colours. The language is simple, using the idea of rhymes to communicate the powerful and crucial message of children sharing their fears and worries with a trusted grown up, so they can get rid of their Joy Thief and be happy. Learning to share our innermost anxieties and not hold onto trauma is an essential lesson that we need to teach at an increasingly early age." -- Deborah Somerset, safeguarding trainer and trauma-informed consultant. (Twitter: @DLSSafeguarding)

"Sean McCallum has written a lovely book with vivid colors, rhyming text and a message. He describes how the unexpected appearance of spider frightens a young girl and the subsequent distress that builds up with repeated suppression of the memory. With psychological underpinnings, this book explores the impact of keeping upsetting thoughts pent up as well as the benefit of being able to share them with someone you trust. Highly recommended." --Laurie Zelinger, PhD, ABPP, RPT-S, Board Certified Psychologist, author of Please Explain Anxiety to Me and Please Explain Alzheimer's to Me

Learn More at www.TheJoyThief.Net

From Loving Healing Press

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