How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

Wet Silence: Poems about Hindu widows

SKU 978-1-61599-256-0
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UPC: 978-1-61599-256-0
Brand: Modern History Press
"Sweta Vikram captures bold raw passion, poignant reality and crafts a powerful voice for the voiceless."

--Kate Campbell Stevenson, Actor & Producer


Wet Silence bears moving accounts of Hindu widows in India. The book raises concern about the treatment of widowed women by society; lends their stories a voice; shares their unheard tales about marriage; reveals the heavy hand of patriarchy; and, addresses the lack of companionship and sensuality in their lives. This collection of poems covers a myriad of social evils such as misogyny, infidelity, gender inequality, and celibacy amongst other things. The poems in the collection are bold, unapologetic, and visceral. The collection will haunt you.


"Nothing short of sacred genius, Wet Silence reads with a sensual and dangerous grace. It is a body of work that ushers presence into absence and love into a world that has all but done away with the word."

--Slash Coleman, author of The Bohemian Love Diaries and blogger for Psychology Today.


"Sweta's poems did a powerful job at highlighting the mental and sexual abuse, violence, loneliness and the pain experienced by millions of widows in India. Why I ask, is being a widow a crime?"

--Shruti Kapoor, Founder of Sayfty, an organization that helps women protect themselves against violence


"In a gorgeous choir of reclaimed voices, Sweta Srivastava Vikram tells the stories of women forgotten and passed over, women silenced and without choices, women who 'don't exist'--Hindu widows. Through the magical breath of her poetry Vikram not only animates these women's hopes, sorrows, dreams, and defeats, she lovingly restores them to honor."

--Melissa Studdard, award-winning author of I Ate the Cosmos for Breakfast.


Learn more at www.SwetaVikram.com

From the World Voices series at Modern History Press

POE005060 Poetry : American - Asian American

SOC028000 Social Science : Women's Studies - General

FAM001000 Family & Relationships : Abuse - General



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