How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

Writing For Bliss: A Companion Journal

SKU 978-1-61599-427-4
$19.95
1
Product Details
UPC: 978-1-61599-427-4
Brand: Loving Healing Press
Binding: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Author: Diana Raab
Pages: 184

Writing for Bliss: A Companion Journal is the creative guidebook companion to the award-winning book Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life.

Developed for the seasoned storyteller as well as the emerging author, this interactive journal is designed to be used in conjunction with Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life--or as a stand-alone workbook for self-discovery.

Award-winning memoirist, poet, and teacher Diana Raab incorporates writing prompts, exploratory exercises, and inspirational quotes to lead you through the healing and transformational process of telling the story only you can tell--a story that is yours alone.

In Writing for Bliss: A Companion Journal, you will:

  • Find more than 184 pages of unique, actionable writing prompts and exercises
  • Move at your own pace--navigating the landscape of your life authentically, guided by Diana’s gentle approach
  • Identify and explore pivotal life-changing scenes that have led you to this very moment
  • Heal your wounded self and transform your life through the writing process

Praise for the work of Diana Raab:

“By listening to ourselves and being aware of what we are saying and feeling, the true story of our life’s past experience is revealed. Diana Raab’s book gives us the insights by which we can achieve this through her life-coaching wisdom and our writing.”
--BERNIE SIEGEL, MD, author of The Art of Healing

“Only a talented writer who has fought hard to overcome life’s many obstacles could take her readers by the hand and lead them through the writing process with such enormous compassion, amazing insight, and kindness. Diana Raab is a powerful, wise, intelligent guide well worth our following.”
--JAMES BROWN, author of The Los Angeles Diaries and The River

DIANA RAAB, PhD, is an award-winning memoirist, poet, blogger, workshop facilitator, thought provoker, and survivor. She is the author of eight books, including Writing for Bliss: A Seven-Step Plan for Telling Your Story and Transforming Your Life, and over one thousand articles and poems. Raab is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, Thrive Global, and others. She leads monthly in-person workshops throughout the country and offers a memoir writing course through DailyOM. She lives in Southern California.

Learn more at www.DianaRaab.com

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