Midwest Book Review on We’re Not All the Same But We’re Family

Nancy Lorraine’s Bookshelf

 We’re All Not the Same But We’re Still Family
Theresa Fraser and Eric E. W. Fraser, authors
www.LHPress.com
9781615994786, $15.95 PB, $4.95 Kindle, Ages 4-8
9781615994793, $26.95, HC, 42pp, www.amazon.com

We’re Not All the Same, But We’re Family

We’re Not the Same But We’re Still Family: An Adoption and Birth Family Story” is a compassionate book for adoptive kids and families that embraces the concept of exploring a sense of family that is inclusive of both adoptive and birth parents and relatives.

Deshaun is a 13 year old adopted boy who was curious about his birth father. He had some memories of his birth mother, but they were not all positive. He asked his parents if they would help him seek information about his birth father. The search was successful and Deshaun was able to communicate with his birth father using Skype. Eventually Deshuan was taken by his adoptive parents on a long trip so he could meet his father and more members of his birth family.
This openness to an expanded sense of family led to added security and expanded love between Deshuan and his biological family as well as his adoptive family. Some questions that are suggested for exploration by other adoptive families include the following: Discuss feelings about adoption. Imagine what openness might mean for both the child and the family.
Acknowledge similarities and differences among family members. Discuss if an expanded sense of family is possible for their circumstances. “We’re All Not the Same, But We’re Still Family: is a positive, exploratory book that helps children and families confront some of the issues included in adoption. Illustrations of mixed race parents and families add to the richness of the adoptive child/family’s exploration of the child’s birth family and history.
“We’re All Not the Same But We’re Still Family” is recommended for children age 5-6 years and up.
Senior Reviewer

We're All Not the Same, But We're Still Family

SKU 978-1-61599-478-6
$13.95
In stock
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Product Details

This story was written for adoptive families to explore the benefits of adoption openness. The main character, Deshaun, loves his family but always wondered about his biological family. Does he look like them? Did they love him? With the support of his adoptive parents, Deshaun gets to meet his biological family. They develop an ongoing relationship, so Deshaun feels more stable in his adoptive family, but also develops a comfortable relationship with his birth family. Deshaun and his family are reminded (as we all are) that family can include biological, adopted, foster and kin members.

After reading this book, a child and their family will be able to:

  • Discuss feelings about adoption
  • Imagine what openness might mean for them
  • Acknowledge similarities and differences among family members
  • Discuss if an expanded sense of family is possible for their circumstances

"There are many children's adoption books that address the important themes of identity, attachment, grief and loss; however, very few approach the topic of openness for older children in the in-depth manner that Theresa and Eric do in their book. The emotions that Deshaun describes are typical of many adopted children and could help normalize universal feelings for young adoptees. I would highly recommend this book for all adopted children and will certainly be using it in my practice."
--Tecla Jenniskens, M.S.W., R.S.W., adoption social worker

"Many foster and adoptive parents fear the consequences of introducing their children to birth parents. This story offers a redemptive look at how parents can remain history keepers for their children by helping them answer important questions about themselves and their origins. This book is a beautiful example of how fearless curiosity and compassion can lead to increased coherence in a child's story and an expanded sense of family for everyone."
--Paris Goodyear-Brown, LCSW, RPT-S, clinical director of Nurture House, executive director of the TraumaPlay Institute and author of A Safe Circle for Little U and Trauma and Play Therapy

"We're All Not the Same, but We're Still Family is a lovely book that tackles issues adopted children really think about when they question their identity and place within a family. The authors describe the process of a boy's search for his biological family, with the full support of his adoptive parents, and the events that brought him into the child welfare system. The illustrator's rendition of the Skyped meetings between the two families is captivating, while the text gives careful attention to the unification process. I applaud the authors on their inclusion of realistic steps in this complicated process, as we witness a child's journey to find and complete his family."
--Laurie Zelinger, PhD, ABPP, RPT-S, board certified psychologist and author of Please Explain "Anxiety" to Me!

Learn more at www.TheresaFraser.com

From Loving Healing Press www.LHPRess.com

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