How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

From Depression to Contentment

SKU 978-1-61599-435-9
$16.95
In stock
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Product Details
UPC: 978-1-61599-435-9
Brand: Loving Healing Press
Binding: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Author: Bob Rich
Pages: 156

From Depression to Contentment: A Self-Therapy Guide is a course of therapy in your pocket. You can be your own therapist, changing the way you see yourself and your world. Not only does this save lots of money, it also is 100% confidential. The book starts with first aid, provides an understanding of the nature and causes of suffering, instructs you in research-based techniques for dealing with your problems and, finally, teaches you an actual cure for depression.

  • Every tool in this book is based on research, but presented in an easy to understand, easy to apply manner.
  • With homework assignments, you will find your inner strengths, uncover the true source of happiness and develop great resilience.
  • Learn how to put the philosophies of all great religions to practical use, even if you are an atheist.
  • This program can help you start a new life - one of meaning, positivity and purpose.
  • Unlike instructional books, this book is not only useful but also enjoyable.

"If you're depressed and need someone who 'gets' you, who has been there and who can walk you through the journey toward a life worth living, then From Depression to Contentment will be your new best friend. Bob meets you where you are and can lead you home to yourself."
-- Petrea King, CEO and founder of Quest for Life Foundation

"Combining his personal and professional experience, Dr. Rich offers a valuable self-help tool for those seeking additional insight for coping with depression. The suggested exercises are easy to follow with an explanation of what they are helping with. And he does it all with a great sense of humor woven in."
-- Chynna T. Laird, author of Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)

"Dr. Bob Rich has created a simple and direct guide to beat back depression for good. Put forth in easy to digest bits, the approach uses small, effective steps to move past the overwhelm of depression."
-- Diane Wing, M.A., author of The Happiness Perspective: Seeing Your Life Differently

"The essential message of the book is that you can beat depression by improving the quality of your thinking, your behavior and your life. Overall, a wonderfully refreshing and practical self-help guide to healing from depression and living a fulfilling life."
-- Beth Burgess, psychotherapist, author of Instant Wisdom, The Happy Addict, and The Recovery Formula

"Depression can be turned into a positive and can actually enrich our lives if we just try. It is not easy to acquire the skills and the knowledge necessary to learn to cope well and to recover, but this book will make the effort easier. Specific interventions - like guided imagery and mindfulness meditation - are suggested and explained. All-in-all, this is a valuable manual on how to live well with depression and acquire the right skills and knowledge that will tame the depression to a point where the person will live well without being affected by symptoms."
-- Alfredo Zotti, author of Alfredo's Journey: An Artist's Creative Life with Bipolar Disorder

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