How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

Holidays with a Tail

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A Tale of Winter Celebrations
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Product Details
UPC: 978-1-61599-615-5
Brand: Loving Healing Press
Binding: Paperback
Audiobook: Audible, iTunes
Edition: 1st
Author: Kelly Bouldin Darmofal
Illustrator: Brad Calhoun
Pages: 34
Publication Date: 11/01/2021

Young Alex is beyond excited on Christmas Eve. He knows that Christmas celebrates the birthday of Jesus Christ, and he cannot wait for tomorrow to come - he wants a puppy of his own to play with and love. On Christmas Day, he opens a large box with, yes, a puppy inside. Alex names him Zipper! However, when grandparents come bearing gifts, Zipper bounds out of the open door. Mother and Alex then begin a neighborhood adventure as they search for a runaway dog and meet neighbors with different winter holiday celebrations and traditions: the Hindu Diwali, the Jewish Hanukkah, the Latinx Las Posadas and the African-American Kwanzaa. Alex then returns home for a Christmas feast, happy with his new canine companion and the knowledge that his neighborhood is filled with amazing people who are more alike than different.

"Kelly Darmofal takes her readers on an unexpected Christmas journey that leads her readers to discover the beauty of our diverse winter holidays! Holidays with a Tail: A Tale of Winter Celebrations is a book to read aloud to all!" -- Debbie McIntyre, Principal of Jefferson Elementary School

"With warmth and cheer, Darmofal captures Christmas Day in Holidays with a Tail. A day of adventure for a boy becomes a day of learning and connecting with others for a deeper understanding of cultures and traditions that differ from his own. A great holiday read!" -- Emily M. Cagle, Media Specialist at Meadowlark Elementary School

"With vibrant illustrations and easy-to-understand language, the author introduces us to five holiday celebrations enjoyed by families of different cultures. This book is non-judgmental and depicts appreciation for the differences among us. While it is intended for children, parents might also learn something new. Holidays with a Tail is a valuable resource if we plan to raise our children with an acceptance of diversity." -- Dr. Laurie Zelinger, Child Psychologist, Author of Please Explain Vaccines to Me Because I HATE SHOTS!

Learn more at www.ImLostInMyMind.com

Another empowering book from Loving Healing Press www.LHPress.com

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