How do I learn to love myself?

Somewhere on this planet, there is a young person who has constant, irrational feelings of guilt, shame and worthlessness. S/he has progressed from self-bashing to asking me this question.

Here is my answer:

    • Learning to love yourself is an excellent project.

As you know, I am handicapped by a scientific training. That means, I don’t believe anything, but go with the evidence. When new evidence comes in, I revise my model of reality. After having done this for over 50 years, here is my current model. To list the evidence would need me to write a book. (What a good idea!)

All is One. Some people call this God, but to many, God is an Old Man in the Sky, so I avoid the term. I think of the whole Universe as a self-aware, sentient Being. Maybe it is a young Person, perhaps a teenager as Universes go, and so It is rapidly growing.

It needs a great many new components that are metaphorically Its brain cells. The Universe, which is life energy, has created the universe of matter and energy that we can perceive as a school for souls. It is an illusion in a way, but also part of the One.

There are innumerably large seats of life in the universe, not only on planetary surfaces. They are all schools for souls. Earth is one of them.

We are here with the purpose of growing spiritually. We go round and round, life after life, going backward and forward, but over many lives it is inevitably positive growth. That’s why I have called my life story Ascending Spiral. Have you read that?

When we have learned all the lessons there are to learn, we can stop the life business and move up to a higher level, although some enlightened beings choose to return to guide us younger ones.

You, your spirit, are a part of this. You are a tiny drop of God.

Before you were born, you designed this life, with the assistance of a superior spirit, who was probably someone who has graduated. In my past life recalls, I have distinct memories of… conversations? with a Mother Person who gave me unconditional love, but forced me to experience all those events in my previous life when I had an impact on other people. Only, what I experienced was that other person’s emotions. A great many “near death experiences” and other past life recalls report this. It is wonderfully motivational to build on your strengths, to offer to make restitution for harm you have caused, and to choose the lessons you feel you are ready to learn.

Then you are born into this new life, where you are exposed to the lessons you asked for.

No one can know what your chosen life lessons are, but after our years of emailing each other, my guess is that “Learning to Love Myself” may be one of them.

I am not going to tell you how to go about it, because it is far more powerful if you invent it for yourself. But read what I have written here over and over. The answer is hidden there. Then let me know what it is — and do it. Do it often and regularly until it becomes second nature, just as long years of repetition has made the self-bashing second nature.

And do it in combination with meditation, and doing your best to live by this rule:

Above all, do no harm. If you can, do good. If you cannot do good, change the situation until you can.

Re-read From Depression to Contentment, and the stories in Lifting the Gloom. You do have those books, don’t you?

The answer to your question is also hidden in both of those books.

With metta,
Bob

Gift Horse: A Kat Wilde U.P. Mystery [PB]

SKU 978-1-61599-839-5
$24.95
1
Product Details
UPC: 978-1-61599-839-5
Brand: Modern History Press
Binding: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Author: Terri Martin
Pages: 256
Publication Date: 09/01/2024

Tucked away in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, the village of Peshekee has more to worry about than the long winters and steelhead fishing. Scandal and a suspicious death or two visit the rural village, setting speculation and gossip into motion. After her post-college career collapses, Kat Wilde finds herself living with the family cat in her parents' basement. With no other prospects on the horizon, Kat is offered a gift she can't refuse: inheriting her late uncle's failed equine venture, Wildwood Stables. There, she sees hope for regaining independence from a pity job at Dad's accounting firm. Attracting the attention of Nikko Olsen, a local woods cop, leads to unconventional romance and adventure. The discovery of a corpse, along with disturbing encounters at the old horse campground, launches a spate of entanglements that unravel as Kat stumbles onto family sins and secrets.

"I want to be Terri Martin's Kat Wilde in Gift Horse: the reluctant recipient of a run-down horse boarding stable whose spirit is exceeded only by her heart! Thrown by the discovery of a dead body in her barn, Kat is determined to solve the mystery, aided and abetted by a host of endearingly wacky characters. Martin's Gift Horse is a pleasure ride, with enough bumps, turns and twists in the trail to keep the reader glued to the saddle -- right up until a very satisfying ending." -- Nancy Besonen, author of Off the Hook

"Kat Wilde, a Gen Z woman trying to find a life in the rugged wilderness of the U.P., stumbles into an unlikely inheritance that reignites the fire of her forgotten youthful passion for horses. She is a down-to-earth heroine I rooted for at every turn, as she and new beau, Nikko Olsen, unravel the schemes of a murderer and impostor." -- Victor Volkman, Marquette Monthly

"I thoroughly enjoyed meeting Kat Wilde, our guide through the landscape of Gift Horse. Her humorous choice of language comes through - even during the most desperate events, of which there are many. Things start with a few signs of danger and soon grow into dead bodies and blackmail." -- Bob Rich, author of Hit and Run

"Gift Horse is a first-class mystery story using engaging characters. The story flows masterfully with Martin's signature undertone of humor. She uses it well. Things start to move fast after Kat Wildeinherits her uncle's failed equine venture, Wildwood Stables Twists and turns occur and romance develops when Kat pairs up with Niko, the handsome son of the local sheriff. Unexplained murders and family secrets run in tandem to Kat and Niko's growing romance. I loved this book and can't wait to read more of Kat's adventures." -- Ann Dallman, award-winning author of Cady Whirlwind Thunder Mysteries

Learn more at www.TerriLynnMartin.com

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